“Life has a way of guiding you” – Alexander’s story

Alexander reflects on his long journey with mental illness and the hope he found along the way. Dedicated to breaking the unhealthy cycles he experienced as a child, Alexander looks forward to the future with his own family.

I’ve lived with long-term depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) since I was ten years old. My symptoms include a lack of impulse control, panic attacks, anger issues, feeling alone and dissociated from reality, a lack of motivation and low self-worth.

The harsh reality is that I didn’t get support for years. I was alone and endured absolute hell, I even overcame suicide numerous times in my early twenties. I tried counselling, antidepressants, speaking to friends and none of it worked. But I always had hope. I realised that I needed to look inward. The answers I was looking for were right in front of me, not in others, at the bottom of a bottle or in a bag of drugs.

Three years ago, my wife and I welcomed our daughter into the world and ever since then I have gradually found myself again. I improved myself, maybe not for myself most of the time, but for them. I didn’t want to become my father and let good people down. I found courage in the need, and will, to be a better father and husband.

The best advice I can give anybody is to take a day at a time. There will be hard days, days where you feel like you’re about to explode and lose it all. On those days, take time for yourself, reflect and think towards the future. Think about how much you’ve already overcome and endured, what kind of person you’d like to be and as long as you have hope, you’ll get there one day.

You have to have hope that things will eventually improve later, whether that’s tomorrow, next week, months or years down the line. It’s the same concept as day and night – neither lasts forever, the sun will rise and set. Time goes on and so does your life.

We are all lucky to have the gift of life. Don’t allow the past to define who you are and stop you from living in the present. Life has a way of guiding you to where you want and need to be.

Nobody is perfect, but you have the choice and chance to be a good person who cares about others and makes a difference in the world. Those selfless acts will be the things you will be remembered for. Love will forever and always be the meaning of life.